Every erotica writer will some day face the question, “Did that really happen?” The thought that there might be a glimmer of truth behind the fiction seems more titillating in erotica than any other genre. The truth is, most mystery writers have never experienced anything like a real murder, but almost all erotica writers have presumably had sex, and have certainly been shaped by early experiences. In light of that, what is contained here is a series of short scenes titled “Confessions”-because that’s just what they are, a few of the true stories that shaped my own sexual being.

Are they all completely factual?

I don’t know if a fiction writer ever writes anything that is ever completely fact. Even when we’re journaling, we’re not journalists, after all. Nor are we poets. Fiction writers tell stories, we elaborate, we give the truth “scope.” So while I will say that most, if not all, of these stories did, indeed, happen, in some sense of the word-I have certainly, as most writers do, taken liberties, and changed names to protect the innocent. Or not so innocent.

But these are my confessions, told in the same, secret whisper I might tell them to you if we were alone, sharing the heat of memory in the dark.

Warnings: This title contains graphic language and sex.

Word Count: 18,050

EXCERPT:

When I checked out the movies, I was surprised to find that two of them were porn movies! And this wasn’t soft core stuff. How did I know? Well, I put them in, of course. I knew when they’d be home, and I knew I had a few hours before then, so I put the tape in the VCR and started to watch.

It was even more of a turn on, knowing he wanted me to watch, imagining him thinking about me, my jeans crumpled in a ball on the floor, my panties down to my knees, my legs spread and my fingers working my hot little clit as I watched women putting their asses in the air, begging to be fucked, watching huge, hard cocks sliding into wet, open pussies. I came once, fast and hard, but feeling guilty, I turned off the movie and quickly got dressed.

I tried to distract myself. I checked on the baby. He was fine. I ate some of their ice cream and watched MTV. But my eyes kept going to those cases on top of the entertainment center, and the ache between my legs just grew… and grew… Until I couldn’t resist, and I put the movie back in again.

I wasn’t going to touch myself. That’s what I insisted when I put the movie in and sat on the couch. I just wanted to see… but as I watched, I felt myself getting wetter, my whole pussy throbbing.

I rubbed my hand over my jeans, laying back on the couch pillows, twisting with lust as I watched the blonde on the screen sucking his cock, his fingers playing with her hard nipples. I touched my own nipples, making them hard, watching as he bent her over and began to lick her pussy from behind. I couldn’t help it.

I unzipped my jeans and slipped my hand inside, my pussy incredibly hot and wet under my fingers as I began to touch myself. He stood behind her, sliding his cock up and down her wet slit, and I wondered what it would feel like. At sixteen, I still hadn’t had a cock inside of me yet, although I’d had one in my hand and in my mouth. What would it feel like to be fucked, I wondered?