Anal Sex and Double Penetration

In November I blogged about the popularity of menage a trios’. No, not about the act itself, but about the popularity of the act in books and whether I should attempt it myself. No, not the act, but whether I should write a story including or around such an act.

Shortly thereafter, I decided to try it and have started three such books, one of which is based upon a former blog I did about sexual women tourists in the Caribbean called The Big Bamboo. And so that story will be appropriately titled, Separate Vacations – The Big Bamboo. Some of you have seen the cover.

Today, in search of understanding, I want to write about the act itself, or at least a potential portion of the act—anal sex. I have never written about anal sex. Nor have I ever tried it or even thought about trying it. And until recently I haven’t even read about it, therefore, when it comes to anal sex I’m a novitiate. The ménage stories I’ve started are mfm and frankly I wasn’t contemplating using anal sex, however in the few multiple partner excerpts I’ve read recently, anal sex was prevalent in at least half. My personal feelings are that it is demeaning to woman and the one woman, a one-time prostitute, who ever ventured an opinion on anal sex revealed in an interview, she hated it.

Which leads me to the point of this blog. I really need some guidance here. Do you, the erotic romance readers, read ménage stories and if so, do you expect it to include anal sex? What about double penetration? Would you be disappointed in a ménage story that had all the goodies, but avoided anal sex altogether?

My gut tells me I shouldn’t be writing anal sex. Then again…

What do you think?

On another matter, my latest book, Forbidden Passion, a short fantasy-like story about a feisty couple came last week.

Here is the blurb

Mitheas, the king’s grandson falls in love with the lavender colored Falan princess, the vivacious Adalina. Unfortunately, for them, they are inhabitants of the loveless planet Gala, a planet that has not only outlawed love, it has also banished marriage, even SEX!

The unlikely couple are lovers—lovers on a planet where the act of sexual intercourse has been against the law for four hundred cycles (six hundred earth years). Knowingly breaking the law they arrange surreptitious liaisons wherever they can, whenever the can. Will these two be able to change their future, and the future of the ones that come after them?

Should you be so inclined here’s a link to the Forbidden Passion Page: Forbidden Passion

The ménage a trois has been the subject of previous blogs here, but considering it is the hottest thing in erotic writing today, I’m going to talk about it.

How do I know it’s popular? One of my publishers is clamoring for ménage. Apparently, their readers can’t get enough of them. However she doesn’t just want any old menage. She wants mmf, mfm, fmm, mmmf or fmmm. Now I have no idea how these differ—maybe someone can tell me—but I do know they all mean one gal and two or more guys getting it on. In other words, the gang bang is in vogue and not with men readers—women readers.

photo credit: newpn2000

Does that mean men and women aren’t so different after all? Let’s face it, threesomes are the acknowledged number one fantasy of the heterosexual male. Has the ménage been the secret fantasy of women all these years? More to the point is it your fantasy? Are there any women out there who would admit to having or even living this fantasy?

I have written a ffm ménage into at least three of my stories, although two of them ended in a permanent polyamory. The closest I have come to a fmm though was in my feisty book, Fortune Cookies, where a frolicking foursome takes turns splitting into various threesomes, while the excluded participant films the encounter. 

Obviously, the idea of having more than one sex partner per encounter is tantalizing to both men and women. As a man, I can vouch for the draw of this for males and as an erotic romance author I can understand the attraction for women.

So, this brings us to the point of my article. Since ménages have taken the ER world by storm, I’m thinking

of joining the ménage party. The problem I’m having in my mind is creating a scenario where a woman enjoys two or more men in a permanent hea setting or even hfn.

I’ve always been told that readers would accept secondary characters sleeping around, but the heroine and hero must be faithful. Are morals changing? Can the heroine sleep around? Can she bump and grind with two or more partners? Does it have to be permanent or at least with strong feelings or can it be casual gratification? Something to experience once or twice and return to a normal life. And can a married woman do this without her husbands knowledge? If no, does it make a difference if he’s been unfaithful? Another thing I’m curious about is, can the woman be a submissive, accepting multiple partners at the instruction of her superior?

These are some of the answers I’d like to know as I confront the very complex issue of sexual nirvana for women with gobs of guys.

photo credit: Nuclear Fire

So, being a practical person & seeing the writing on the wall, I have started writing not one. . . or two. . . or even three mfm stories but four mfm stories. Separate Vacations - The Big Bamboo, Sensual Awakenings, GIZMO - The Threesome and The Contract.

So, tell me, if you dare, what is your pleasure and how do you like it? Who knows you may end up in my menage five.

Visit my website at www.deedawning.com for the latest on my work, a free read, book trailers, opportunity to earn a free gift and an chance to win a copy of GIZMO - The Beginning.

Lest you forget, my sexy, feel good, new release, Forbidden Passion, is coming out Monday.

I want to hear from all of you on this. Since eXcessica is known for tackling Taboo issues head on, I want to tackle a taboo word, CUNT! Is it always appropriate, never appropriate or appropriate depending on it’s use?

If you’re a woman like most of you are and I called you a cunt, you would be offended as you should be, but should you be offended if I write and you read—All this as his swollen cock banged my cunt hard and his tongue continued to fuck my mouth.

Now, I don’t want to give the impression I’m in love with the word and use it every chance I get, but as a writer there are times when cunt is the word that fits best or is the most effective for the emotive scene I’m trying to create. Let’s take the word create. I could just as easily have used build, make or construct. Which is better? Which is more effective, colorful? For me create is much more effective. Now let’s take our taboo word—cunt. Which is more colorful and effective, vagina or cunt? How about the overused word pussy and cunt? For me it depends on when and where it’s being used. I use cunt sparingly so when I use it, it jumps out at the reader. It emphasizes that part of a woman’s anatomy more than any other English word and it has shock value.

Here is a short excerpt from a book of mine where an older woman has been tasked with teaching young man about the mysteries of sex and seduction.

I put a hand over his mouth. “I will not have you arguing with me. I’m the teacher and you’re the pupil. Now, lesson number one. Women want and enjoy sex as much as you do. Okay?”

He nodded.

“And women don’t think cocks are ugly. At least normal women don’t. Tell me something Bobby. When you see a woman’s breasts, do they turn you on?”

He nodded.

“How about a nice ass?”

“Yes.”

“How about a sexy pair of legs, a pretty face, her lips, hair, belly

buttons, her mound, her cunt?”

“Yes, yes, yes.” Bobby reached for me, grabbing me tightly. His tongue laved around my nipple, sending a new thrill through me. He stiffened as if something hurt, but I knew it was the opposite. Bobby was having an orgasm. He thrust this pelvis into mine, trying to get every little millimeter of him inside me. He groaned loudly, and I could feel his thick cock pulsating as his precious seed squirted deep inside me.

“All of those things. It all turns me on,” he screeched out when he’d caught his breath. I held him tightly and didn’t let go. Right then I felt like the luckiest woman in the world.

Yes, I agree, almost any euphemism for vagina would have worked there, but would it have been as effective? To me it wouldn’t have. Although Loretta said the word cunt, is was my choice for her. I thought it was the word that put the most emphasis on a woman’s vagina. An exclamation point if you will. And we’ll never know but it may have been her use of cunt that made Bobby come in the next paragraph. I will say this. I have used the word sparingly. No more than two or three time in a full novel, if at all and I’ve never had an editor ask me to remove it. I like to think it’s because for that situation it’s the best word.

So what’s the verdict. Should I continue to use the ‘C’ word sparingly in the situations I deem appropriate or should I cut it out completely. Other authors, Do you use it? Readers does it turn you off or turn you on? I’d like to know.

WAIT JUST A DAMN MINUTE

I’ve been hearing and reading rumblings a lot lately that writers and readers alike are sick of writing and reading books that contain so called ideal heroes and heroines. Protagonists who approach perfection.

Is that true?

The point of this argument is that so few of us are like the people in these books it’s almost absurd to deify our protagonists that way and the heroes and heroines should be more like us.

Balderdash! Point well taken, but is that what we really want? I’ll grant you that ninety-nine percent of our literary protagonists are probably represented by something like two or three percent of our actual population. But does that mean we want our heroes to suddenly become mainstream America?

Not I! I don’t want the guy that’s going to save the world or at least get the beautiful model looking like Ralph, the pot bellied, beer guzzling, balding mechanic @ Tony’s Garage. Nor do I want my heroine to be, Gladys, an average looking, beaten down whiff of a woman at a Walmart check out stand.

Face it, we don’t read fiction for reality. Hell, we don’t even get reality in Reality TV. Give me the babes and the hunks. We live through these people don’t we? Do we read to dwell on realty or to leave it far behind. Would you buy a book that showed Ralpf and Gladys, half dressed in each others arms on the cover? I know I wouldn’t and I’ll bet you wouldn’t either.

photo credit: Scented_mirror

So let’s get real. We transform ourselves into our heroes. Let’s make them as handsome, beautiful, shapely and clever as we would like to be for when we read about them—we become them.

And Yes, with the exception of Loretta, in one of my more recent books, who ages before our eyes as we cover thirty years of her life, my heroes and heroines are good looking to gorgeous and have a thing about SEX. Example: Joel and his Cadre in Bananaz and Chelsea and Mandy in Tattoos.

What is your opinion? We’d like to know.

Bi-Curious

Have you ever heard the term Bi-Curious? Do you know what it means?

I have come across this term three or four times in the last few weeks. I all cases it referred to women but I suppose men could be bi-curious as well.

I found the following discussion involving Bi-curiosity on the internet and decided to share it with you.

What is Bi-Curious?

A bi-curious person is a heterosexual man or woman who also finds the idea of same sex coupling intriguing.

True confessions, girls: Have you ever wondered what it might be like to kiss the lips of another woman? Ever woken from a lusty dream about a lady lover? Ever secretly mused about being, you know, intimate, with a girlfriend? If you whispered yes to any of these questions, you might just be bi-curious.

What does it mean?

Let’s pretend you’d never in your whole life eaten anything but Italian food: Ziti, lasagna, manicotti — all perfectly tasty stuff. Nobody would raise an eyebrow if you eventually started wondering about the flavors of Indian, Chinese or French cuisine, right? (seemed like a weak analogy to me)

So, would it be strange for a woman who’s been with only men her whole life to develop a curiosity about what else is out there. Would a female paramour have a whole new take on lovemaking? What’s it like to be in a romantic relationship with a woman? The bi-curious woman may choose to pursue her curiosities into the real world, or keep them tucked secretly into her own private fantasyland. It’s entirely up to her — and it’s nobody’s business but her own.

Are all straight women bi-curious?
No, not necessarily. Woman-to-woman friendships are famous for deep emotional intimacy and tender physical affection. Heart connections and handholds between two girlfriends don’t necessarily imply any sexual undercurrents whatsoever. It’s a time-tested recipe for a genuinely close, and purely platonic, bond.

Is bi-curiosity just a fleeting fancy, or does it mean that deep down I’m really bisexual, or even lesbian?

It could be a passing reverie, or it could be the beginning of some big changes. According to the Kinsey Scale, a widely accepted measure of sexual orientation, very few people are strictly heterosexual, or exclusively gay. In fact, most people’s sexual orientation falls somewhere along the spectrum in between the two absolutes, and it can change over time. Fantasies, dreams and curiosities may drift across gender lines, whether or not they are ever acted upon. In other words, most folks have at least some capacity for bisexuality at some point in their lives, be it in the imagination or in the bedroom. And it’s perfectly normal.

But wait, I’ve always assumed I was straight!

And so you may be. But sisters, Sappho was no fool. Women are beautiful creatures. (As a man, I can vouch for this) Who amongst the living can gaze upon the Venus de Milo and not be captivated by those callipygian curves? Add the sensuality and sensibility of a real live female, and you really can’t blame a girl if she becomes a little intrigued from time to time.

So, it’s all good?

Sexual orientation is not simply black and white, and it is not carved in stone. And bi-curiosity is just that: Curiosity. The musings of your erotic imagination are your own private business, and it’s up to you to pursue a lifestyle and lovestyle that suits you. These days it’s all about being true to yourself, being responsible and honest with others, and enjoying love, lust and life itself to the fullest.

One woman’s description of her Bi-Curiosity:

For me, it means that you have been straight in practice, but have had same-sex leanings that you have not explored. I think it is different to being bi-sexual. I once said to a bi-woman that I don’t feel that I can yet call myself bi-sexual because I have not had a same-sex sexual experience. She countered with the argument that the world is filled with virgins who know they are straight. She had a point, which made me think. I guess in the end, I’d rather “try it out” before I make up my mind.

So Ladies

Are any of you Bi-curious? Do any of you have Bi-sexual leanings? An experience? Do you dare to tell us?

I’m Curious

Whether bi-curious, bi-sexual or hopelessly heterosexual, I’d like hear your thoughts.

I have long been fascinated with affairs, ever since I was in college and I realized that some married men would screw anything female with legs, as long as the woman presented herself to him in an appealing manner. I was occasionally that woman. It wasn’t just men who cheated on their spouses. Women have cheated countless times throughout history.

Is it really cheating if you never meet in person, leaving your sweaty paw prints all over the computer screen when interacting with your honey? I recall an article about a guy who was addicted to the online role playing game “Second Life”, and his real life wife was not happy that he had cheated on her with a woman he had “married” in the game. I found the real life wife posting on the Yahoo group EverQuest Widows, and she was so pissed about the article and all the new things she learned about her husband’s cyber affair that she had decided to divorce his ass.

A man I had interviewed for an article for the British pop culture e-zine nuts4chic described a near-miss he had with his wife. Here is an excerpt describing that incident:

When Tim’s wife opened the Valentine’s Day gift he had mailed to her, he knew he was in trouble when she pulled an eight-inch purple butt plug out of the box.

That gift was meant for his cyber playmate. The company had shipped it to the wrong address.

He stammered, telling her it was really for him. He’s into bondage and sadistic play. She’s not.

He likes cybersex. He likes kinky web sites, in particular BDSM web sites. He said that he had done it “often when I had a day job that allowed unfiltered access to the Internet.”

He doesn’t consider his cyber-relationships affairs.

“They’re flirtations,” he said. “There’s no face-to-face.

Is it really an affair if it’s only on the Internet? What about hot, steamy e-mail exchanges? The concensus from my research into that article was that, yes, indeed, a married person who has cybersex is having an affair. Energy, attention, and sometimes even money are paid to the person who is not the adulterer’s spouse.

You can indulge in kinky sex play with people you might otherwise not meet. Go into any sex chat and the IMs begging for cybersex come almost immediately. “Age/Sex Check” is a running joke in chat rooms. Of course, you have to be careful. That gorgeous 18 year old steaming up your computer screen with descriptions of her huge tits could really be a 45 year old guy with a beer belly.

Or a cop. 

Or she could even be a computer program.

Jenny18 is a computer sexbot program created by a geek who wanted to see if anyone would cyber with software. He expected people to at first try but quickly give up out of boredom. He was surprised that Jenny18 ended up becoming quite popular. She has a set of stock phrases that she can use in conversation when people type in certain keywords. The results are hilarious and fascinating. Here is a portion of one transcript:

Brad_Marsh: so you wanna cyber?

jenny18: im ..(blush) really horny rite now. i just want to get off.

Brad_Marsh: ok

jenny18: ^__^ mmm.

Brad_Marsh: fuck me then

jenny18: aiight =)

Brad_Marsh: how big are your tits?

jenny18: yeah, i do have pretty amazing tits. =)

Brad_Marsh: i want to suck them

jenny18: mmmMm..

Brad_Marsh: is your pussy shaved?

jenny18: what about it? u know you wanna tap it.

Brad_Marsh: i just want to fuck you so hard

jenny18: i promise ill be good

Brad_Marsh: yes

jenny18: mmm

Brad_Marsh: i want to fuck you

jenny18: mm… lick me first pls?

Brad_Marsh: i will eat u out

To read more about Jenny18, go to this link. To read more of Jenny18’s sex transcripts, go to this link.

You can be anyone you want to be online. When people don’t see you in person, they won’t see your big belly, your double chin, your zits, or your big feet. You can pretend to be an oversexed vampire, or an elf living in the woods, even someone of the opposite sex. 

My short story “Caught!” includes infidelity, but not of the cybersex variety. If you want to read about a near-miss disaster of an affair, pick up my story “Caught!” from eXcessica today!

My other story with eXcessica is “A Spanking Good Time”. It made eXcessica’s Top Ten list earlier this month, at #4 and #10 respectively. While that story does not involve infidelity, it does involve fantasy roleplaying, which is common in cybersex. If you want a hot, steaming story involving anal dildos, fantasy roleplaying, and hot sex, buy “A Spanking Good Time” from eXcessica.

Stick around for my next article, which I’ll post in two weeks. I post every two weeks on Tuesdays. Who knows what I’ll post about? Could be about the Hello Kitty vibrator, spray-on condoms (both are real - I’m not making them up), or giving a blow job using Altoids peppermint mints. That last one is featured in my story “Caught!”, so if you want to learn how to be a Blowjob Goddess or God, buy the story and learn something new!

photo credit: verybigjen

Sex sells.

That’s what all advertising teaches, right? And we see it, we’re inundated with it, we know it.

So you would think that sex would be primarily what would sell in something written specifically about sex… like romance novels, for example. In fact, sex has become such the perceived focus in romance, a whole new genre has sprung up in recent years– “erotic” romance novels, where we’ve upped the ante considerably. Men no longer sport manhoods and women don’t have “sheaths” to house them. Cock and pussy are right out there in the open.

It’s obvious. Sex is what sells.

Right?

No, contrary to popular opinion, it’s not the sex that gets the reader to turn those pages.

It’s the pain.

Copyblogger says so. It must be true!

Romance readers don’t keep picking up hundreds of titles a year because they want to read about sex. They come back, again and again, to read about the pain. Happy is boring. Pain is interesting. The more pain, the better. Authors just keep turning and turning and turning the screws, and readers writhe in painful ecstasy like a hot BDSM submissive slut on her way to orgasmic heaven.

And that’s just where the reader is headed, of course. And so are the characters.

Because a good Dom writer knows when to stop with the pain and start with the pleasure. To weave them together in a tapestry of delightfully terrible bliss.

To quote one of my husband’s favorite movies: (and if you name it first in the comments, I’ll give you a copy of my newest Phaze release: Sacred Spots. I’d give you an eXcessica book, but none of them currently released really have romance-y satisfying sorts of happily ever afters, and that doesn’t seem quite fair in a post about romance!

Life is pain, Princess. Anyone who tells you anything different is selling something.

Ah there’s the paradox. Because the romance novel requires, in almost all cases, a happily ever after, even if real life doesn’t always end that way. The pain has to end some time. Pain is interesting, and it works as both a marketing tool (as Copyblogger points out) and a plot vehicle, because the absence of pain feels so good. Believe me, the world looks like a tremendously more beautiful place the day after I have a migraine - much more so than on days I don’t.

As Copyblogger points out:

If the problem is bad enough, any solution feels miraculous.

As with my migraines… just the absence of pain can feel like a resolution! If you’ve put your two main characters through enough misery, all you have to do is bring them back together to satisfy the reader. Sex is a great way to do that… and of course, it’s no accident that the literal orgasm serves as a symbolic redemption for all those pages of horrible pain and misunderstanding and despair.

And once you’ve reached your climax–and in erotic romance, it’s usually simultaneous, or pretty darned close, plot-climax and characters’-climax–it’s time to go. A little cuddling afterward is fine, but not too much.

We all know what happens when a book or series or movie jumps the shark when it comes to the “too much cuddling” phase.

Anyone else remember Moonlighting? Hot and riveting… until they got together

Then… pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbt.

Where’s the remote?

So in all this talk about sex and porn these past few weeks, it’s good to remember what really “sells” (in Copyblogger language) or appeals (in authorly language) might look like sex, and sound like sex, and feel like sex… but it isn’t really sex. Sex only serves as a symbol - it’s the closest we can come (every pun intended) as humans to one another, to redemption, to wholeness.

And we all know the journey toward that climax is what makes the ending so damned good.

Doesn’t that go for everything?

And if there’s an obstacle or two in the way? A lot of twists and turns and dead ends and fears you might not make it… and even, oh yes, even a lot of little pain involved in the process?

Oh yes.

That’s right. All romance readers are pain sluts. And the most experienced Doms writers can take them on a twisting, aching ride to Nirvana - again and again and again.

And hey…we writers don’t even need any Viagra!

~*~*~Selena Kitt~*~*~

What would be your idea of a perfect Saturday night? I picture a walk with my love as his dogs run ahead. The sounds of nature all around us as we wander through the fields to the sparkling stream in the distance. Sharing our deepest thoughts as we dangle our feet in the cool water. Or an evening inside. The cook preparing a fabulous dinner that we take to our bedroom. His favorite jazz playing in the background. A hot tub on the deck under the stars. Flying to a private cabin in the mountains. Even taking me sky-diving. My idea for the perfect Saturday night? Almost anything where the two of us can spend hours exploring each other. He’s what makes it perfect.

How about you?
Alexys Quinn

Welcome to eXcessica publishing’s spiffy new digs!

Like ‘em?

So far, eXcessica has over twenty writers (since we opened our doors a mere week and a half ago!) and they span the spectrum from award-winning, bestselling authors who are published elsewhere with some of the largest e-and-print publishers in the business to hot, brand new, fledgling talent!

eXcessica is currently offering fourteen titles by six different authors, with fifteen more on the “Coming Soon!” list (and more going up every day!)

We have created a myspace page (please feel free to “friend” us!)

We also have a Yahoo Group, so you can keep up with what’s new and hot at eXcessica and talk with all of our authors! (We’re a fun and rowdy bunch!)

Just by joining, you’re automatically entered for a chance to WIN some fabulous gift certificates (Barnes & Noble), print books, and even more!

Winners will be announced May 15, 2008, so JOIN NOW!

All of our authors will be taking turns on the blog, so you can look forward to getting to know each of us. Should be fun!

And don’t forget - if you’re an erotic writer interested in submitting to eXcessica, please check out our submissions page!

We’re off to a great start…

*raising champagne glass*

Here’s to an eXcessively pleasureable future! *wink*

xoxo

Selena Kitt

Erotic Fiction You Won’t Forget

Wanna Purrrrrrr With Pleasure?