WAIT JUST A DAMN MINUTE

I’ve been hearing and reading rumblings a lot lately that writers and readers alike are sick of writing and reading books that contain so called ideal heroes and heroines. Protagonists who approach perfection.

Is that true?

The point of this argument is that so few of us are like the people in these books it’s almost absurd to deify our protagonists that way and the heroes and heroines should be more like us.

Balderdash! Point well taken, but is that what we really want? I’ll grant you that ninety-nine percent of our literary protagonists are probably represented by something like two or three percent of our actual population. But does that mean we want our heroes to suddenly become mainstream America?

Not I! I don’t want the guy that’s going to save the world or at least get the beautiful model looking like Ralph, the pot bellied, beer guzzling, balding mechanic @ Tony’s Garage. Nor do I want my heroine to be, Gladys, an average looking, beaten down whiff of a woman at a Walmart check out stand.

Face it, we don’t read fiction for reality. Hell, we don’t even get reality in Reality TV. Give me the babes and the hunks. We live through these people don’t we? Do we read to dwell on realty or to leave it far behind. Would you buy a book that showed Ralpf and Gladys, half dressed in each others arms on the cover? I know I wouldn’t and I’ll bet you wouldn’t either.

photo credit: Scented_mirror

So let’s get real. We transform ourselves into our heroes. Let’s make them as handsome, beautiful, shapely and clever as we would like to be for when we read about them—we become them.

And Yes, with the exception of Loretta, in one of my more recent books, who ages before our eyes as we cover thirty years of her life, my heroes and heroines are good looking to gorgeous and have a thing about SEX. Example: Joel and his Cadre in Bananaz and Chelsea and Mandy in Tattoos.

What is your opinion? We’d like to know.

Bi-Curious

Have you ever heard the term Bi-Curious? Do you know what it means?

I have come across this term three or four times in the last few weeks. I all cases it referred to women but I suppose men could be bi-curious as well.

I found the following discussion involving Bi-curiosity on the internet and decided to share it with you.

What is Bi-Curious?

A bi-curious person is a heterosexual man or woman who also finds the idea of same sex coupling intriguing.

True confessions, girls: Have you ever wondered what it might be like to kiss the lips of another woman? Ever woken from a lusty dream about a lady lover? Ever secretly mused about being, you know, intimate, with a girlfriend? If you whispered yes to any of these questions, you might just be bi-curious.

What does it mean?

Let’s pretend you’d never in your whole life eaten anything but Italian food: Ziti, lasagna, manicotti — all perfectly tasty stuff. Nobody would raise an eyebrow if you eventually started wondering about the flavors of Indian, Chinese or French cuisine, right? (seemed like a weak analogy to me)

So, would it be strange for a woman who’s been with only men her whole life to develop a curiosity about what else is out there. Would a female paramour have a whole new take on lovemaking? What’s it like to be in a romantic relationship with a woman? The bi-curious woman may choose to pursue her curiosities into the real world, or keep them tucked secretly into her own private fantasyland. It’s entirely up to her — and it’s nobody’s business but her own.

Are all straight women bi-curious?
No, not necessarily. Woman-to-woman friendships are famous for deep emotional intimacy and tender physical affection. Heart connections and handholds between two girlfriends don’t necessarily imply any sexual undercurrents whatsoever. It’s a time-tested recipe for a genuinely close, and purely platonic, bond.

Is bi-curiosity just a fleeting fancy, or does it mean that deep down I’m really bisexual, or even lesbian?

It could be a passing reverie, or it could be the beginning of some big changes. According to the Kinsey Scale, a widely accepted measure of sexual orientation, very few people are strictly heterosexual, or exclusively gay. In fact, most people’s sexual orientation falls somewhere along the spectrum in between the two absolutes, and it can change over time. Fantasies, dreams and curiosities may drift across gender lines, whether or not they are ever acted upon. In other words, most folks have at least some capacity for bisexuality at some point in their lives, be it in the imagination or in the bedroom. And it’s perfectly normal.

But wait, I’ve always assumed I was straight!

And so you may be. But sisters, Sappho was no fool. Women are beautiful creatures. (As a man, I can vouch for this) Who amongst the living can gaze upon the Venus de Milo and not be captivated by those callipygian curves? Add the sensuality and sensibility of a real live female, and you really can’t blame a girl if she becomes a little intrigued from time to time.

So, it’s all good?

Sexual orientation is not simply black and white, and it is not carved in stone. And bi-curiosity is just that: Curiosity. The musings of your erotic imagination are your own private business, and it’s up to you to pursue a lifestyle and lovestyle that suits you. These days it’s all about being true to yourself, being responsible and honest with others, and enjoying love, lust and life itself to the fullest.

One woman’s description of her Bi-Curiosity:

For me, it means that you have been straight in practice, but have had same-sex leanings that you have not explored. I think it is different to being bi-sexual. I once said to a bi-woman that I don’t feel that I can yet call myself bi-sexual because I have not had a same-sex sexual experience. She countered with the argument that the world is filled with virgins who know they are straight. She had a point, which made me think. I guess in the end, I’d rather “try it out” before I make up my mind.

So Ladies

Are any of you Bi-curious? Do any of you have Bi-sexual leanings? An experience? Do you dare to tell us?

I’m Curious

Whether bi-curious, bi-sexual or hopelessly heterosexual, I’d like hear your thoughts.

As a follow on from my last blog I thought I’d discuss Internet Dating again. Okay - I know I slated it last time. And with good reason!! It’s imperfect at the best of times, and downright crap at the worst. But for once I’m having fun with it  - mainly because I’ve had a change of approach.

No, despite what I suggested last time, I didn’t change my profile to:

Sexy, blonde: loves cooking, cleaning, and is a very easy lay.

Whilst it would have secured me enough dates to keep me busy into the next millennia, it’s not really what I’m about. Of course I love cooking and cleaning – I mean, what woman doesn’t? But I prefer it when a man shows an interest in me beyond what I can do with a pair of rubber gloves and a sink plunger…

This time, I rewrote my profile to reflect me, the real me, and I refrained from saying I was ‘bubbly, cute, and an all round nice person who enjoys nights out with somebody special.’ If you read a random sample of profiles on any site, you can guarantee that these characteristics will crop up with boring regularity.

Well that’s not me!

So I made damn sure that my profile said differently. Perhaps I came across as slightly opinionated, but hey, I can be that in real life. I also quoted a line of poetry I like, just to emphasise that I’m no dumb blonde. Actually, I’m a brunette, but you get the idea. Well whatever. It seems to have done the trick. I’m currently talking to three very interesting guys who enjoy books, sports, art house films, and are keen to meet me.

Am I having fun?

Damn right I am!

I fully intend to serial-date lots of men until I find one who’s worth seeing on a more permanent footing. If that takes a long time, then so be it. I’m in no rush to meet Mr Right. I’m quite happy playing with lots of Mr Right Nows.

Ps. Posting a nude picture of myself wielding a huge dildo did no harm either…

My latest novella, Rose’s Garden, was written about a friend of mine. It isn’t a blow-by-blow account of her divorce by any means, and nor would she want anyone to think she had a hot and steamy affair with a younger man in the midst of the nuclear fallout that followed! But I did take many aspects of her life and use them for Rose’s story. Not least of them, the character of Rose’s despicable ex husband. Somehow I doubt that ‘Phil’ would appreciate reading about himself in the pages of an erotic novella… 

[IMG]http://i259.photobucket.com/albums/hh316/rlemonnier/rosesgarden-1.jpg[/IMG]

In real life, my friend went through a horrific divorce and only now, two years later, has she finally begun to see the light again. It has been a long, difficult road for her and many times I felt like I was living it with her. She is with another man now – one who appreciates her – but she is still having hassle from her ex. I don’t think he’ll ever leave her alone until he’s six feet under.  

At least in my story, Rose finds happiness and peace by the final chapter. 

If only real life was as easy as fiction…

My intention was to write something intelligent about…yes, you guessed it – writing!

But then I started musing about my love-life instead. It only took a few minutes. Love-life? Ha!

After all, who needs to cough up for expensive pyschoanalysis, when you can re-write the tale of your doomed relationship with the charmer who promised you, “5* all the way, baby!”, but only ever bought you a take-out from MacDonalds…

Looking on the bright side (and lets face it, somebody has to), I suppose my dalliances with dating and relationships have at least proven inspirational in a twisted kind of way. I find it very cathartic to spew my bitter recriminations into a fictional (ahem) story. As a result of several trainwrecks, sorry, relationships, several stories were born from the ensuing nuclear fall-out.

It’s rather satisfying to write about a heroine who eventually gets her man (the right one), after leaving the villain of the piece high and dry. (Yes, what fun it is writing Fred/Harry/Biff as a manipulative, conniving, cheating scumbag – and knowing that there is a very real chance they might read the finished story at some point).

Does the truth hurt, huh? Good!

Most of all I like to write happy endings. It makes me smile to send my characters off into the proverbial sunset loved up, shagged out, and ready to settle down for some happy-ever-after-sex.

So why does real life persistently fail to live up to the ideals of fiction?

Answers on a postcard please…

What would be your idea of a perfect Saturday night? I picture a walk with my love as his dogs run ahead. The sounds of nature all around us as we wander through the fields to the sparkling stream in the distance. Sharing our deepest thoughts as we dangle our feet in the cool water. Or an evening inside. The cook preparing a fabulous dinner that we take to our bedroom. His favorite jazz playing in the background. A hot tub on the deck under the stars. Flying to a private cabin in the mountains. Even taking me sky-diving. My idea for the perfect Saturday night? Almost anything where the two of us can spend hours exploring each other. He’s what makes it perfect.

How about you?
Alexys Quinn