There comes a point during every work in progress when I just don’t know if can possibly go as far as I want too. It’s a form of writer’s block I like to call “The Shy Bubble”. I start worrying that this time will be the final time someone will read my work because I’ve gone too far or I start judging my work against others who are even more adventurous. I get shy of my sexual leanings. I want to convert to something easier, less soul bearing, less me. If I write shyer it will be easier, that’s what the little voices inside my head tell me.
Those voices lie. A lot. They are absolutely freaking nutso. But every now and then I take the time to indulge them to write something sweet, flirty, not flashing off the page with red hot erotic content. And you know what? I’m never satisfied. It always sounds contrived or void of emotion. But it’s a necessary evil to remind myself I’m doing this because I love it and I can’t do anything else. I pop my little illusion of a safety bubble holding me back from everything sexy because it’s just not “right”. Then I pick up a piece of paper and write.
What really reminds me of how open the world is to my writing involves an hour and a porn website and that’s it.
Sometimes it’s when you’re uncomfortable that the magic happens on the page. So as long as people continue reading what I write, and there will always be people, then I’ll keep popping my little bubble and drying myself off.
We all have our own struggles as artists. What are some of yours?
1:07 pm on January 27th, 2010 1
“Sometimes it’s when you’re uncomfortable that the magic happens on the page.”
I could not agree more. I have been tied up this week in a scene that is a very awkward situation for the two characters involved and it’s been tense writing it for me too. Because of that however, it translates to the scene and you can feel the tension coming out in the scene. Well said!
2:26 pm on January 27th, 2010 2
I agree! Sometimes when I’m writing I catch myself feeling embarrassed about the idea of someeone proofreading it for me. That’s when I know I’m on the right track.
8:48 pm on January 27th, 2010 3
There is definitely an element of vulnerability in art. You’re exposing a piece of yourself and I think that’s what makes it work. I’m not interested in someone’s made up story unless I can sense the writer’s personality and some kind of truth. I just posted a story on Literotica.com for their Valentine’s Day contest. While I don’t believe in ghosts and I’ve certainly never encountered one, there are parts to my story that are very much real. But this is a fictitious erotic world where the real me is under a sexy blanket of secrecy. Vulnerable, yes. But I’m not embarrassed. Not at all.